Tools for a Balanced Lifestyle

A Program of Recovery from Weight Related Problems
Going for the 3 increases: Increase of Health; Increase of Happiness and Increase of Energy

Chapter 1: Getting Started on Your Balanced Lifestyle

I. Making Goals Realistic and Livable
In making plans to change your lifestyle so that you can live a healthier life, you might be caught up with the "old dieting" mentality. The Balance Lifestyle in this program is a lifestyle change program. This is a program of "new" healthy weight maintenance. This is not a guilt inducing program which monitors you so closely that you feel under severe pressure to perform or get out. This program is based on the principles of the 12 Steps of the Self-Esteem Seekers Anonymous Program (SEA's). It is based on the belief that you are a human being subject to failures, mistakes, imperfections and potential for relapse. For this reason, there is no pressure to abide by single diet or food plan, but rather for you to follow one which suits your personality and needs. There is no pressure to participate in a prescribed exercise program. There is no pressure to act or behave in a certain way. What is expected is that you will make a commitment to love yourself enough to make the effort to change the way you relate to food, increase the amount of exercise and physical activity in your life and the way you deal with your feelings about yourself, your body and your self image. This program is based on the belief that our bodies are like bank accounts. The deposits we put in must match the withdrawals we make or our accounts will bulge from the excess of deposits we put into them. Our bodies are make to burn up a certain amount of calories and fat grams per day. If we do not have sufficient exercise and physical activity to burn off the excess calories we ingest each day the calories and fats will be stored in our bodies as excess weight. The goal of this program is to balance the calories and fat intake with the amount of exercise and physical activity necessary to bring your bodies into a "healthy weight" for yourself and to maintain this healthy weight once we reach our goal weight. This program is based on the belief that you will become a healthier person and sustain your new balanced lifestyle if you become more concerned about your internal needs and become less dependent on externals to make you happy and content with yourself. For this reason you are asked to make a commitment of a minimum of two years to implement your new balanced lifestyle. You are asked to become self-loving and self-nurturing and not to use the "old" guilt inducing models of weight management programs which compel you to comply to their rules or be feel shame and guilt for not being successful in your compliance.

Most of you view your goal bodies as Swiss Bank Accounts which are svelte, lean and thin. These Swiss accounts are based on rigid weight charts which do not take into account the genetic or hereditary structure of your bodies. I have an Italian genetic bank account which is large boned, wide hipped and prone to enjoyment of the fine foods of life. I have given up the need to have the Swiss Account and as such have been able to maintain my Italian Account which is close to 100 pounds less than what it once was. For the past seven years I have been able to keep the Italian Bank Account in balance. I have been able to enjoy food, guilt free. I have been able not to give up my favorite foods. I still enjoy food like I did in the past. However I balance my deposits with my exercise and physical activity withdrawals. When I kept my focus on the Swiss Account, I was never able to accomplish the goal. It was too difficult and required so much sacrifice that I never enjoyed my life and I never was able to get into balance. Once I decided to accept the realities of my Italian heritage, I have been able to enjoy life and be thinner than what I ever had been in my life up to then.

It is imperative that as you enter this Balanced Lifestyle program, that you become realistic and kind to yourself. Set your goals not on the Swiss Account but rather on your own heritage account. Give yourself enough time to accomplish your initial goal to get your account into a balance. Remember, it took many years to get your account (body) in the sad state of affairs its is in. It will take a number of years to get your account (body) into balance. The slower you go at putting your account into balance, the better you will be able to maintain it once you are successful.

With kind Permision
James J. Messina, Ph.D., & Constance M. Messina, Ph.D.Copin www.coping.org